Focus

Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” —Sam Levenson

A lot of times we get overwhelmed by everything going on in our lives that sometimes we just want to give up. From experience I have learned to take things easy by slowing down a bit and living each day as it comes. Normally I’m a planner, I plan my life years ahead. It makes things easier for me most times though it doesn’t always go as expected given the time interval of planning and the actual events.

I’m presently at a point in my life where I feel I can take over the world 😂, however I have realized that I can’t do everything at the same time. Actually that has been my main problem over the years. I have too many ideas but usually get frustrated and give up during the implementation process. Especially when it’s taking longer than expected.

That being said, one must never stop trying to be better regardless of how tough the road seems. Life is never easy but with determination and perseverance many have conquered every limitation they encountered on their journey.

If you’re like me, I advise you slow down a bit. Don’t stop just ensure you have a priority list that serves as a guide so you don’t get burned out by taking on too much responsibilities. Nigerians would say ‘slow and steady wins the race’.

Have a fabulous week ahead people, keep working on that dream of yours!

Career goals; Stuck and confused!

students

Recently i have been worried about the direction in which my career is going. If you have read my bio already, you would know that i am a University Lecturer, and that means studying ever ends for me if i intend to continue in this profession (i love my job and i have a passion for teaching by the way). Surprisingly i grew up to discover i enjoy being the student, it’s funny considering i hated school as a child needless to say i was an above average student. In other to grow to the peak of my career (Professor) i need to publish a lot of academic literature in reputable journals and get a PhD while i’m at it. It isn’t an easy task, it takes a lot of dedication, commitment and perseverance to achieve this. I know because my Dad is one and i have learned a lot from him over the years.

I never believed that after getting good grades while undergoing my masters from a UK university i would encounter this much problems with getting admitted as a PhD student. Well that has been my predicament for a while now. I am qualified for  most of the positions but the application process can be very daunting, especially with various schools having different requirements and admission processes. Some universities give you research topics and some do not. Others ask for a research proposal while others do not, some ask you to get a supervisor by yourself while some don’t. Some ask for GRE/GMAT test scores while other don’t. And the list goes on.

I assume you get the picture i’m trying to paint. Sometimes i get frustrated especially because i have a personal deadline to meet. I’ve set out tons of emails to various universities and prospective supervisors around the world. Sometimes you get a reply (positive or negative) but most times you don’t. Well i have decided to use this vacation wisely to continue with my search and not get discouraged regardless of the disappointments. The end result is all that matters to me for now and i’m well aware of the fact that quitters ever win (i am aware because i would have had a PhD by now had i not given up years ago). I could really use some motivation right now, seriously.

What are some of the challenges you have faced in the course of your studies/careers and how were you able to overcome them? Please share in the comments section.

Thank you for reading.

 

Supposed happily ever after

Remind me again why most single women believe once you meet a nice looking guy and get married all your problems will be washed away at the altar and from then on everything will be perfect?

Well sorry to disappoint you ladies, this is time for real talk. Honestly you need to wake up from that slumber! Do not get me wrong I was a victim of that fantasy before I met my husband and got married. I love him to death and he is the love of my life but HELLO welcome to the real world where real imperfect people live.

Growing up I thought i had it all figured out in my head that I would meet my perfect charming knight in shining armour and we would never have a single care in the world. I am a happily married military wife and mom of one son but I have to emphasise that it hasn’t been easy. I mean it’s hard enough being married to a military man especially under the circumstance my husband and I met and fell in love (story for another day). He was practically deployed to a war zone at the time, fighting terrorists in Nigeria. All my life I thought I would marry a business executive (the suit and tie kinda guy lol). It was a rude awakening for me when my then fiancé explained what our lives after marriage would be like (of course the details came after I had said YES lol), at that point I was basking in the euphoria of love and couldn’t care less about what i was geting myself into.

Having to live apart for so long was never part of the plan but ‘oh well military life chose me’ so I embraced it with faith, I mean a lot of faith. So far God has been our source of strength and it’s been almost two years since we were joined in holy matrimony (next month is our anniversary) , I say this with pride joy and  peace that I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY if given a chance to change my mind.

I haven’t even mentioned adjusting to motherhood yet and this post is this long (haha). Well that’s something i’m still working on. From having my life all to myself and now having to tailor every bit of all I do to my son’s schedule is something I wasn’t quite prepared for. I would give my life for my son any day if need be but realistically speaking, being a mom is the most tasking challenge I’ve ever taken on. It’s rewarding to see your child smile and play with you but I believe first timers need to be more educated about what’s to come after birth. I battled with Post Partum Depression for months and no one noticed, but it was bad. I had heard about it from few friends but never took it seriously. Thank God for resources on the Internet and prayers that helped me heal. Add my job to that equation and imagine how I was feeling (in Nigeria we only get three months maternity leave beginning the day of baby’s delivery, terrible I know!).

And then there’s bills to be paid, no more shopping till you drop #sad face lol, endless planning for every dime you earn. Sleepless nights, rushed baths etc. So single ladies all I can say to you is, take time to develop yourself and start earning a living, don’t be in a hurry to get married because you may end up disappointed and eventually get divorced if you find that you cannot cope.  Above all pray for direction till you have peace with the person coming for your hand in marriage.

Thank you and God bless to all the military men and women who sacrifice their lives daily for their country. To the families of these military personnel, I know it isn’t easy but it is for a good cause and the sacrifice is more than worth it. That is our only consolation.

Until I come your way again, stay safe!

A trip to success boulevard

Why do people feel the need to succeed?

A lot of people in our society today are being judged as failures or never do wells because they aren’t living up to soceiety’s expectations. People need to realize that being happy and peaceful are important ingredients of a successful life. 

I would say this though, success means different things to different people, a Nigerian saying goes thus ‘one man’s meat is another man’s poison’. Personally I believe that just because something worked well for Mr A doesn’t mean it will work for me. I live my life knowing that all fingers are not and will never be equal, therefore let everyone one run his race the best way it suits him/her. Lately I have been on a journey of self discovery, I will be turning thirty years soon and it’s kind of a big deal for me (whoop whoop, i’m happy and feel blessed). I have been asking myself what I have achieved in life so far and to be honest with myself and you all, I am doing okay since I have a masters degree and I work as a university lecturer. However, you will be surprised that I don’t measure that to be success. Its important, but not the most important thing to be achieved. 

There is much more to life than just doing the regular things that are expected of you by society. We all have those secret things hiding in a tiny corner of our hearts that we wish we could do that would make us more pleased or satisfied with ourselves. I will use my beginning to blog as an example. I have been procrastinating starting a blog for only God knows how long. This is something I do because I enjoy writing and I want to be a source of inspiration to people like me. We waste so much time suppressing our talents due to societal pressure, wondering how people would view us if we did what we love.

Getting a large readership and following on my blog will not only help me network more but I will also learn from talented people that are willing to share their knowledge with the world. Furthermore, I believe as time goes on my writing skills will greatly improve whilst I find out the niche I belong to.

Conclusively, success for me is having and spending quality time with my family, having loyal friendships, pursuing a successful career I enjoy, working towards achieving my set goals, staying healthy, pray more, travel more, shop more, take more photos (another secret passion of mine), laugh more, reach out to the needy and all the good things of life (haha).

Keep living your dreams people, you only live once.

Peace!