An open letter to Akintomiwa my darling son!

Words cannot even describe the joy I feel this moment. Having you in my life this past year has made me a fulfilled woman in the true sense of the word, sometimes I cry while thanking God for blessing me with the gift of you.

Your birth story is so fresh in my mind like it was yesterday. I remember how scared I was of labor and delivery that I said a prayer. I told God of my fears and asked him to make the experience easy and worthwhile. He answered and you cooperated! 

As my due date approached I kept expecting the signs of labor but none showed up. Almost two weeks after my EDD I went for ante natal, after being examined by the doctors (God bless them for being gracious), it was decided that a cesarean section was going to be done to bring you out the next day. Whew! I was like, this is it. The special moment I had been waiting for to meet my baby was almost here. 

I was still scared (considering your dad was far away at work) because I didnt know what to expect but I trusted in God that all would be well. I was sent back home to get ready and return a few hours later. The surgery was scheduled for 8 a.m. the next morning. I am a freak for documenting memorable events (you already know this because of the many videos and photos of you I take daily) but fortunately or unfortunately my phone developed a fault and i could barely even make calls (imagine the wrong timing). Most of my friends and well wishers found out about your arrival on facebook (ouch!).

Well, the moment of truth came and I was wheeled into the theatre the next morning after so much prayers. I so desperately wanted to see you the moment you came out but I couldn’t as the anaesthesia choice I made (numbing my waist down to my legs) didn’t work, so I was completely knocked out. I however woke up shortly after you had been taken to meet your grandma, and the only thing I could think of doing was ask if you were ok and if you were a boy or girl (all efforts to know your gender before that day failed lol. We kept guessing and betting and you probably were laughing at us all the while). Then I became unconscious and took a long look at you from afar in my dizziness, little did I know what was to come when the anaesthesia wore off fully.

Hours later I woke up to behold your royal cuteness my love, my charming little prince. The wait for that precious moment was well worth it, and I bless the day I bore you. Even though I didn’t get to hold you until much later that night, I was happy just looking at you. God did it, we were both fine. No complications at all.

Gradually I started to feel the pain, it was out of this world. Trust your mama, I handled it like a queen (i wish, haha), I assure you that you’re worth more than the pain I felt for weeks darling. 

Your daddy wasn’t there physically but he was with us all through, waiting patiently by the phone to hear the news of your arrival. And boy was he over the moon with joy when your grandpa broke the news to him. You are all he prayed for and expected if not much more.

Motherhood is one journey I wouldn’t trade for anything, it hasn’t been easy but your grandparents, uncles, aunties, our colleagues and friends have been of immense help. You are truly a blessed child, the amount of love and likeness you command is something else.

The past one year has been wonderful and I bless God for your life. You will live long and prosper in good health and peace son. Keep smiling and being the cheerful compassionate and intelligent boy you’ve been. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents, Mommy and Daddy love you very much and are working hard to give you a good life.

Happy birthday my little munchkin, looking forward to many more amazing years with you! I hope you enjoy the party we organized for you.

P.S. Birthday party update will come in my next post people, watch this space.

Expect the unexpected

Yesterday I took my almost one year old son for his pre-birthday photoshoot. And you know how it is with first time moms 😁, I had already planned every detail of that photo session like months ago. From the props we’d use to how the photos would turn out (all first time moms relate i’m sure🙌). My excitement was through the roof.

Lo and behold the long awaited photoshoot turned out to be a learning experience I never expected. 

First of all the cake I ordered was NOT in any way shape or form what was delivered to me (I was so disappointed but wouldn’t let that ruin the rest of the day). I consoled myself by saying ‘oh well, its an original creation. First of its kind LOL.

Then we got to the photo studio, the photographer had barely taken three shots of my beloved son before he bursted into tears. Let me emphasize that my son loves taking pictures, he would even change poses without any supervision. So you can imagine my shock when he started crying and throwing major tantrums (his diaper wasn’t soiled, he was well fed, except he hadn’t had his afternoon nap) 😮. His father called to offer moral support via telephone ad did his bit to pacify him, all to no avail.

I thought to myself, how could this be after all the months of fantasizing and planning (laughing now but it wasn’t funny yesterday I can assure you). Long story short, we managed to get a few good shots, not as many as I would have wanted but that’s okay. And my darling son didn’t smash his cake which means I successfully got free cake for my family (they started eating it before we got home 😬).

Moral of the story; It’s normal and easy to plan every single detail of our lives however, we must realize that what happens to us is not always entirely our making. It is important to plan for eventualities to avoid disappointment. Learn to accept the things you cannot change, nothing is ever certain in life. Make it worthwhile by having fun while you’re at it

Love you Akin even though you didn’t cooperate with me yesterday. I enjoy every bit of time I spend with you daily. Thank you for reminding me that things will not always go the way I want but to enjoy the moment regardless. Birthday edition coming soon, I will share photos after the party.

Happy belated mother’s day mamas, you’re doing a good job.

Don’t stop, keep moving!

You do realize you don’t have to beat yourself up all the time about past mistakes or because you disappointed you and other people in your life right?
As humans we are expected to fail occasionally but the important thing is, what you do when you fall. Do you stay down or get back up and take with you lessons learned from the experience? 

My personal journey to self discovery has been transformational. I have evolved now into a young woman with a PURPOSE. Years ago I had this strong yearning to be perfect (I grew up wanting to impress my parents), little did I know I was putting my life in a slow motion. Forgetting that you grow when you try and fail and keep trying till you get it right.

I had lots of business ideas and other things I wanted to do when I was younger but wouldn’t take risks because I was afraid of failure. Yet i wanted to be a success story, but how? Stagnation was my companion at that period in my life. It got so bad I could feel it. I began to ask myself questions I already knew the answers to. 

At that point i knew it wouldn’t be fair to rob the world of the talent and gifts God gave me to share. Over the past few years i would reflect on the things i would do differently if given another chance. Alas, that was the moment i advised myself to take charge of my life. It was time to let go of fear. I decided to put it in a box and throw it away forever!

I am not even going to lie by painting a rosy picture that life has been smooth since then but hey, no one ever promised that life will be easy! There will be days of struggling and taking on great challenges but hold on, there’s always light at the end of a tunnel. Just do your part by working hard, be persistent like your life depends on it and see how things turn out.

So now what you may ask? 

Well, I have a couple of projects I’m working on aside blogging to inspire and transform people that relate to my situation. I am working on my charity organization to see how much people I can help in my own little way. And some other things I will reveal on this blog as time goes on.

Individuals should take time out to reflect on their live occasionally. Are you living your dream? Are you willing and ready to put in the hardwork necessary to achieve your goals? What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What will the world remember you for when you’re long gone?

What are your thoughts on this post and turning point stories? Please share with me in the comments section.

Financially responsible or just stingy??

So here’s the deal guys, I took a decision about a year ago to be more prudent in my spending after realized I was way too extravagant and had little or no savings most of the time. I had to come up with a strategy that would actually work, need I say I had tried so many times in the past to achieve this feat but failed woefully.

I weighed all the options I had  but there was only one that had the highest chance of being effective in my case (trust me guys, it was really bad).In Nigeria we deal mostly with cash but in the past five (5) years or so, the government has constituted policies that promote a cashless society in order to curb inflation.

Having lived in the UK before, I was already accustomed to using my ATM cards to pay for virtually everything. It was a struggle readjusting to the Nigerian way of making purchases with cash.

This led to my excessive spending habit, which I was not aware of by the way. I had to figure out the root of my problem, especially with a baby on the way back then. There was no way i would continue to live like that, always making purchases on impulse and looking for the slightest opportunity to spend.

The moment i realized the cause of my problem, i decided to take drastic action by not carrying more than a certain amount of cash for a period of time (mainly for emergencies). Now I only pay for what I need and mostly with my card, if there are no POS machines in the stores I want to buy things from I leave without buying and that’s it. Money saved LOL. 

People that used to know me when I  was an impulsive spender now complain that i’m stingy (not that i care anyway). Well I just feel as one grows older, priorities change and change is inevitable.

Another strategy that encourages me to save more is having a short term project that I cannot afford, once that is settled I come up with something else that I need to invest in.

To be honest i’m still struggling with this new lifestyle but I believe i’ve made significant amount of progress so far. I’m still learning to be disciplined where money is concerned. Now that i’m a wife and mother I realize it is my duty to ensure that the family’s finances are in top shape.

What methods do you use to save more money? Please kindly share in the comments section.

Supposed happily ever after

Remind me again why most single women believe once you meet a nice looking guy and get married all your problems will be washed away at the altar and from then on everything will be perfect?

Well sorry to disappoint you ladies, this is time for real talk. Honestly you need to wake up from that slumber! Do not get me wrong I was a victim of that fantasy before I met my husband and got married. I love him to death and he is the love of my life but HELLO welcome to the real world where real imperfect people live.

Growing up I thought i had it all figured out in my head that I would meet my perfect charming knight in shining armour and we would never have a single care in the world. I am a happily married military wife and mom of one son but I have to emphasise that it hasn’t been easy. I mean it’s hard enough being married to a military man especially under the circumstance my husband and I met and fell in love (story for another day). He was practically deployed to a war zone at the time, fighting terrorists in Nigeria. All my life I thought I would marry a business executive (the suit and tie kinda guy lol). It was a rude awakening for me when my then fiancé explained what our lives after marriage would be like (of course the details came after I had said YES lol), at that point I was basking in the euphoria of love and couldn’t care less about what i was geting myself into.

Having to live apart for so long was never part of the plan but ‘oh well military life chose me’ so I embraced it with faith, I mean a lot of faith. So far God has been our source of strength and it’s been almost two years since we were joined in holy matrimony (next month is our anniversary) , I say this with pride joy and  peace that I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY if given a chance to change my mind.

I haven’t even mentioned adjusting to motherhood yet and this post is this long (haha). Well that’s something i’m still working on. From having my life all to myself and now having to tailor every bit of all I do to my son’s schedule is something I wasn’t quite prepared for. I would give my life for my son any day if need be but realistically speaking, being a mom is the most tasking challenge I’ve ever taken on. It’s rewarding to see your child smile and play with you but I believe first timers need to be more educated about what’s to come after birth. I battled with Post Partum Depression for months and no one noticed, but it was bad. I had heard about it from few friends but never took it seriously. Thank God for resources on the Internet and prayers that helped me heal. Add my job to that equation and imagine how I was feeling (in Nigeria we only get three months maternity leave beginning the day of baby’s delivery, terrible I know!).

And then there’s bills to be paid, no more shopping till you drop #sad face lol, endless planning for every dime you earn. Sleepless nights, rushed baths etc. So single ladies all I can say to you is, take time to develop yourself and start earning a living, don’t be in a hurry to get married because you may end up disappointed and eventually get divorced if you find that you cannot cope.  Above all pray for direction till you have peace with the person coming for your hand in marriage.

Thank you and God bless to all the military men and women who sacrifice their lives daily for their country. To the families of these military personnel, I know it isn’t easy but it is for a good cause and the sacrifice is more than worth it. That is our only consolation.

Until I come your way again, stay safe!

Daily To Do List (Free Printable)

I find this post by inspirational blogger Minderland to be very helpful so I decided to share. We all could use this to achieve optimum daily time management. Feel free to download, it’s free.

MINDERLAND

In order to stay sane and to manage your emotions, you need to plan and record important parts of your day.

You like me may be the one to sometimes forget what you had planned for the day or the calls you had to make, little things you had to do or emotions you felt.

Having a To do list will help you keep your mind clutter free. You will then have more time for yourself and your emotional well-being.

Planning will help you avoid unnecessary stress and worrying.
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KMinderland

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A trip to success boulevard

Why do people feel the need to succeed?

A lot of people in our society today are being judged as failures or never do wells because they aren’t living up to soceiety’s expectations. People need to realize that being happy and peaceful are important ingredients of a successful life. 

I would say this though, success means different things to different people, a Nigerian saying goes thus ‘one man’s meat is another man’s poison’. Personally I believe that just because something worked well for Mr A doesn’t mean it will work for me. I live my life knowing that all fingers are not and will never be equal, therefore let everyone one run his race the best way it suits him/her. Lately I have been on a journey of self discovery, I will be turning thirty years soon and it’s kind of a big deal for me (whoop whoop, i’m happy and feel blessed). I have been asking myself what I have achieved in life so far and to be honest with myself and you all, I am doing okay since I have a masters degree and I work as a university lecturer. However, you will be surprised that I don’t measure that to be success. Its important, but not the most important thing to be achieved. 

There is much more to life than just doing the regular things that are expected of you by society. We all have those secret things hiding in a tiny corner of our hearts that we wish we could do that would make us more pleased or satisfied with ourselves. I will use my beginning to blog as an example. I have been procrastinating starting a blog for only God knows how long. This is something I do because I enjoy writing and I want to be a source of inspiration to people like me. We waste so much time suppressing our talents due to societal pressure, wondering how people would view us if we did what we love.

Getting a large readership and following on my blog will not only help me network more but I will also learn from talented people that are willing to share their knowledge with the world. Furthermore, I believe as time goes on my writing skills will greatly improve whilst I find out the niche I belong to.

Conclusively, success for me is having and spending quality time with my family, having loyal friendships, pursuing a successful career I enjoy, working towards achieving my set goals, staying healthy, pray more, travel more, shop more, take more photos (another secret passion of mine), laugh more, reach out to the needy and all the good things of life (haha).

Keep living your dreams people, you only live once.

Peace!

First of all, Introduction!

 I’m so excited to be writing this blog post with the intention of getting it published and promoted. This is not my first attempt at blogging but somehow I never got the courage to promote my blog even after publishing my write-ups (fear of the unknown I guess 🙈). Well now I have developed ‘liver’ (Nigerian slang meaning courage/guts) lol.

Okay back to the main aim of this first post. I have decided to take blogging more seriously for two main reasons. Firstly because I have a passion for writing (I’m not a professional writer but I try) and secondly,  I want to share my life story with the world. I don’t have a perfect or glamorous life (far from it) but I believe I can inspire a lot of people with the experiences I’ve had so far. The good bad humorous challenging and priceless moments. I will be touching on areas such as relationships, career, education, parenting, family, and travel basically lifestyle in general.

Permit me to add that i’ll do my best to be as consistent and committed as possible with my posts. So please join me on this wonderful adventure and subscribe to my blog. Inspiration, humour and loads of fun are assured on this space. Feel free to comment or send me emails about suggestions and any questions you may have.

Until next time,

Stay safe and live your dreams!