Supposed happily ever after

Remind me again why most single women believe once you meet a nice looking guy and get married all your problems will be washed away at the altar and from then on everything will be perfect?

Well sorry to disappoint you ladies, this is time for real talk. Honestly you need to wake up from that slumber! Do not get me wrong I was a victim of that fantasy before I met my husband and got married. I love him to death and he is the love of my life but HELLO welcome to the real world where real imperfect people live.

Growing up I thought i had it all figured out in my head that I would meet my perfect charming knight in shining armour and we would never have a single care in the world. I am a happily married military wife and mom of one son but I have to emphasise that it hasn’t been easy. I mean it’s hard enough being married to a military man especially under the circumstance my husband and I met and fell in love (story for another day). He was practically deployed to a war zone at the time, fighting terrorists in Nigeria. All my life I thought I would marry a business executive (the suit and tie kinda guy lol). It was a rude awakening for me when my then fiancé explained what our lives after marriage would be like (of course the details came after I had said YES lol), at that point I was basking in the euphoria of love and couldn’t care less about what i was geting myself into.

Having to live apart for so long was never part of the plan but ‘oh well military life chose me’ so I embraced it with faith, I mean a lot of faith. So far God has been our source of strength and it’s been almost two years since we were joined in holy matrimony (next month is our anniversary) , I say this with pride joy and  peace that I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY if given a chance to change my mind.

I haven’t even mentioned adjusting to motherhood yet and this post is this long (haha). Well that’s something i’m still working on. From having my life all to myself and now having to tailor every bit of all I do to my son’s schedule is something I wasn’t quite prepared for. I would give my life for my son any day if need be but realistically speaking, being a mom is the most tasking challenge I’ve ever taken on. It’s rewarding to see your child smile and play with you but I believe first timers need to be more educated about what’s to come after birth. I battled with Post Partum Depression for months and no one noticed, but it was bad. I had heard about it from few friends but never took it seriously. Thank God for resources on the Internet and prayers that helped me heal. Add my job to that equation and imagine how I was feeling (in Nigeria we only get three months maternity leave beginning the day of baby’s delivery, terrible I know!).

And then there’s bills to be paid, no more shopping till you drop #sad face lol, endless planning for every dime you earn. Sleepless nights, rushed baths etc. So single ladies all I can say to you is, take time to develop yourself and start earning a living, don’t be in a hurry to get married because you may end up disappointed and eventually get divorced if you find that you cannot cope.  Above all pray for direction till you have peace with the person coming for your hand in marriage.

Thank you and God bless to all the military men and women who sacrifice their lives daily for their country. To the families of these military personnel, I know it isn’t easy but it is for a good cause and the sacrifice is more than worth it. That is our only consolation.

Until I come your way again, stay safe!

2 thoughts on “Supposed happily ever after

  1. mindelate May 10, 2017 / 6:26 pm

    Happy Anniversary! You’ve elaborated on a reality which is all too much avoided! The whole ‘happily ever after’ nonsense is pushed into our minds since we’re little girls. Great read 🙂

    Like

    • valadatotheworld May 10, 2017 / 7:52 pm

      Thank you very much for stopping by my page. And yes the real implication of the ‘happily ever after’ needs to be told, so young girls can stop being fooled. X

      Liked by 1 person

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